Find Your Happy Place
I recently watched the sequel to the 1996 movie Happy Gilmore. Was it a great movie or better than its predecessor? No. Did it have some funny moments? Yes. For those of you unfamiliar with the first movie, Happy Gilmore (played by Adam Sandler) is a down on his luck hockey player who finds out he can crush golf balls. Not wanting to lose his grandmother’s house, he reluctantly begins training to be a professional golfer. His problem? He has a terrible temper. In order to learn to control that temper on the course, he is taught that when he feels out of control that he should stop and go to his happy place. In his mind, it is a series of images and scenes which distract from his current emotions and take him away, albeit briefly, and return him with a better sense of calm. Less angry and therefore better able to make decisions. The sequel revisits this idea but with all new reasons to be angry or emotional that need to be overcome. Hey, it’s not much of a plot but it is still entertaining.
We all need our happy place though. A place where we can go (in our head) that reminds us of what is really important and what really matters to us. An escape from the moment that takes the sting out of our current emotional state and returns us to a better one. And it might be truer now, in 2025, than when the movie came out in 1996. It seems like everyone is hyper-emotional nowadays and could do with a little reminder on how to reign in some of those feelings. So, I ask you, what is your happy place?
Chances are, you have no idea. Why? Because, just like Happy Gilmore, no one ever taught you to think about it. Taught you its importance. Taught you how to use it effectively. Well, that ends today. Let’s start with how you ascertain where your happy place is and to do that, we need to take a stroll down memory lane. Can you think back on a time or times in your life where you were truly happy? Did you accomplish some great thing? Did you find yourself surrounded by friends or family – maybe a holiday or special get together? A moment of recognition for some achievement? Perhaps it was a great meal or beautiful natural vista? Your kids smile? Were you blown away with some great beauty that just put you in ah? It is going to be different for each and every one of us. And it can go well back into our childhood. Maybe you got that toy you always wanted and just thinking of it makes you smile. Or that person you liked actually looked at you. Maybe it was your favorite sports player threw you some souvenir that has now become one of your prize possessions. Where are your good memories hiding? Find them!
I hope this little stroll just brought you some joy. Brought back some fond memories. And I don’t care what everyone else would think of these moments. I only care that they are important to you. That they are authentic joy in your life. Can you see everything happening around you? Remember the smell, the touch, the feel of the experience? Take some time. Really put some thought into this little exercise because I promise you, you will emerge feeling better. Spend some time and find your happy place. Keep thinking and reviewing in your mind till you feel yourself smiling. Maybe it’s a few things stitched together. Fine. Great. Just find a few great memories. Call it your life’s highlight reel – your happy place.
Why is it so important to have a happy place? It is a reminder that your life is important. That you are important. That things have not always been bad. That there were times when things worked for you. Listen, I know all too well the feelings of frustration and dejection after going out day after day and fighting the good fight only to come up empty. It is so very easy to focus on the negative things in life because for most of us, they are plentiful. And maybe right now, in this moment, there isn’t much joy in your life. Happens to all of us. You need a safe haven from those feelings. You need a reminder that there is joy and beauty out there and you have experienced it before. And you can experience it again.
The other reason it is so important to have a happy place is because it reminds you of this simple truth: happiness happens when you live life, not hide from it. You need to get out there and try. You can experience great beauty on a screen but it pales in comparison to actually being there. Standing over that ocean. Hearing the crowd roar in satisfaction. Smelling the morning air when standing in some historical place. Go make memories because I am willing to bet most of your happy place moments occurred because you explored this little world of ours and the people in it. Yeah, it’s not perfect. But new memories to add to your happy place are always around the next corner. Waiting. Waiting for you to find them. How do I know this? Because you found them in the past. I don’t have to make it up. You have memories you enjoy. We all do. We just need to focus on them. Drag them out of the depths of our mind and put them back in front of us. They are the truth our emotions wish to blind us to. Don’t let your emotions cloud your life.
Which brings us to our last point: how do you use your happy place effectively? It starts with increasing your awareness. I’m serious. Pick your head up. Look around. Take in the good moments in your life, no matter how small. Let the experiences imprint on you in the same way they did in the past. In the same way they became your happy place moments. And that starts with being present. I know, I just told you to focus on the past to determine your happy place. But we are using our past to help with our present. We are not living in our past or fearing for our future. Being present means being aware the feelings you are having now may or may not be as important as they feel in this moment. Instead of getting lost in the feelings and whatever outcome they produce, you rise above them by slowing down. Being present. Take a second and distance yourself from them. Look at them from the outside, from above, from how they look to everyone else. Then ask yourself if this level of emotion is warranted for this situation. If not, and you know you are losing control, this is the time to apply the happy place. Don’t fight bad with worse, deploy the good in your life. Use it as your escape hatch or parachute out of your current emotional state. It can save your life.
What is your happy place? It is your collection of good thoughts and memories from your life. The better your collection, the better you can ward off the bad thoughts and feelings. But it takes some self-control to use them. You need to be present and aware of what they are. And if you overuse them, they can lose effectiveness. Which is why you should never stop looking for more. Never stop exploring the world and all it has to offer. Try every day to add to your collection of joy and happiness. Find your happy place!
